Introspective Scrapping

When Scrapbooking meets Journaling

Personal Insight

The other day, I suddenly realized just how far back, I had been unable to express anger until it was overwhelming.  My husband and my kids probably have no idea why I am that way.  When you are writing your memoirs, consider writing down what makes you the way you are. Your kids may not love you for it, but they may understand you.
My Mom is a very volatile person. She hits the roof over nothing and everything. She is one of those people who has to be “handled”.  Out in public, she can embarrass me in no time flat.  She knows what is inappropriate, but doesn’t care.

My Dad, on the other hand is a very dignified, mannerly person.  You would never know by his tone of voice or facial expression that anything ruffled him.

I remember my Mom not allowing us to get angry, because when we did, it escalated and prolonged hers.  It was as if she was the only one in our home allowed any drama.

If I got sent to my room for something, usually being a smart ass, if I stomped of closed the door too hard, my Dad would make me go back and return to my room and re-close the door repeatedly until he felt I had walked quietly enough and until my door made no sound whatsoever when I closed it.  He was basically forcing me to show no emotion at all and he was whether purposefully or not, telling me that I had no right to have any feelings concerning how others treated me or what they decided for me.

If I had not been a VERY strong person, imagine what a weak pushover I would be as an adult. I however determined that I WOULD control my destiny and if emotion was a sign of weakness, then I would learn not to show it.  You can stand in my face and tell me to go to hell and I will smile at you and ask you what you will be packing to take on our trip together.

My brother came out with my Mom’s attitude. If he wants to scream, yell, curse and throw things, he will.  He feels entitled to his anger.  The thing is, he’s right.

I have a very interesting family dynamic here, don’t I?

I long to be able to scream and holler and then go on with things. I just can’t shake the need to keep anyone from knowing they made me sweat.

December 3, 2007 Posted by lascorpia64 | JOURNALING PROMPTS, PARENTING, Writing Your Memoirs | , , | 1 Comment

QUOTES ON MOTHERHOOD AND MY THOUGHTS ON SAHM

THIS ONE IS ONE OF MY FAVS

“Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.”
– Lin Yutang

“The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.” — Honore’ de Balzac (1799-1850)

“The mother’s heart is the child’s schoolroom.”
– Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887)

“Youth fades; love droops, the leaves of friendship fall;
A mother’s secret hope outlives them all.”
– Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894)

“Mother’s arms are made of tenderness,
and sweet sleep blesses the child who lies therein.”
– Victor Hugo

“To understand a mother’s love, bear your own children.”
– Chinese Proverb

“The mother’s heart is the child’s schoolroom.”
– Henry Ward Beecher

” Mother is the name for God on the lips
and in the hearts of little children.”
– William Makepeace Thackeray

” What is home without a mother?”
– Alice Hawthorne

” Who is it that loves me and will love me forever with an affection which no chance, no misery, no crime of mine can do away? — It is you, my mother.”
– Thomas Carlyle

“When God thought of mother, He must have laughed with satisfaction, and framed it quickly—so rich, so deep, so divine, so full of soul, power, and beauty, was the conception.”
– Henry Ward Beecher

“I think my life began with waking up and loving my mother’s face.”
– George Eliot

“Mothers reflect God’s loving presence on earth.”
– William R. Webb

“There is no friendship, no love, like that of the parent for the child.”
– Henry Ward Beecher

“A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.” –Washington Irving

I LIKE ERMA BOMBECK QUOTES LOGIC TEMPERED WITH HUMOR

“It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.”

THIS ONE COULD HAVE DONE ME SOME GOOD A FEW TIMES OVER THE YEARS WHEN I HAD TO BE THE BAD GUY

I Like this quote I dislike this quote“The mother loves her child most divinely, not when she surrounds him with comfort and anticipates his wants, but when she resolutely holds him to the highest standards and is content with nothing less than his best.”

Hamilton Wright Mabie

Now for my blog entry.

When I was growing up during the 70’s, womens lib was more or less a done deal. We were told that as females, we could do anything a man could do, and so were obligated to do so. I received a good education and was an honor role student all the way through school. My parents however, sent mixed signals. Our religion was very fundamental and while the educated part of my Father told me I could do anything I put my mind to and he expected me to go to college, He also as a Minister told me that he did not believe a mother should work outside the home. My own Mother had done so and I thought she did it at his request. I guess he regretted it.

When I was a young mother, one of my husbands friends married my friend. They both worked and it appeared to be necessary for them to make ends meet.
Jerrys friend tole me that I should be ashamed of myself for being lazy and sitting around on my backside and living off of Jerry. I don’t remember what my response was, but I never was very friendly with that couple after that. When we decided to have a child, I told Jerry that I did not believe in working and raising children at the same time unless it was necessary to pay the bills. I told him to think about it and then tell me what he had decided before I quit working. He agreed with my terms.Due to this, I did not believe I was living off of him. If I worked, he would have to pay someone else for childcare. Since I was the mother of our child, what other person would be better to be supported by his money? I also, did the brunt of the cooking, cleaning, book keeping, and a myriad of other jobs required to run a household. Bachelors usually have to pay someone else to do those things or puppy dog face their mother into doing it.I really do not believe that the average hoiuse wife and SAHM is payed even minimum wage and there have been studied that back that up.

I believe that being a mother is the most important job you can have and it should be your priority. My Mother had to work, or at least thought she had to, when I was small and and my brother and I were abused by our caregivers. I did not want to repeat that. I have taught my children empathy,and a love for learning. I know how to do many things that I taught myself to do, because I had the time to do it, and I can still learn many more things.In that sense, I have a luxury many working mothers do not have. I have also given my children a belief in God and a strong character. I gave them the ability to take care of themselves and the self confidence to do it. They know that I thought that they were more important than the newest clothing and shoe styles, the newest cars on the dealers lots and any amount of money. I taught them that those are not what is important in life.

I will not denegrate any mother who works outside the home. They have their reasons for doing so. I once had a man say that it was a sin for a woman to work outside the home. I asked him what she was supposed to do if her husband was sick or disabled. Hesaid that other church people were supposed to help her and her children. I was in just such a situation at that time and was receiving no help. I asked him if it ever occured to him that pioneer women who went to the fields with their husbands were working outside the home? And when their husbands went on hunting trips and they had the whole farm to run and to protect from Native Americans, they were doing mens work? He got really flustered. As I said working mothers have their reasons and I have mine. I may not make the kind of money other parents do, but I feel that I have lived a very fulfilled life thus far. As long as the kids are the priority, then whichever path you choose will be the right one. It took me a long time to come to the conclusion that womens liberation or equality is the right to choose what you want to do either way.

If you would like some more Mother quotes here is a good link quote garden

July 26, 2007 Posted by lascorpia64 | Motherhood, PARENTING, Uncategorized | , | 1 Comment

ABSOLUTE BEAUTY

When I read this quote, it so very beutifully echoed what my intent as a parent has always been. Ask them, and they will tell you different. But I know in my heart what I wanted for them.

To believe in a child is to believe in the future. Through their
aspirations they will save the world. With their combined knowledge
the turbulent seas of hate and injustice will be calmed. They will
champion the causes of life’s underdogs, forging a society without
class discrimination. They will supply humanity with music and beauty
as it has never known. They will endure. Towards these ends I pledge
my life’s work. I will supply the children with tools and knowledge
to overcome the obstacles. I will pass on the wisdom of my years
and temper it with patience. I shall impact in each child the desire
to fulfill his or her dream. I shall teach.
- - - Henry James

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April 22, 2007 Posted by lascorpia64 | Children quotes, JOURNALING PROMPTS, PARENTING | , , , | No Comments

PARENTING

Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.

Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-rearing, they are unemployed.

I’m going to stop punishing my children by saying, “Never mind! I’ll do it myself.”

It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.
- All from Erma Louise Bombeck, 1927 - 1996

March 17, 2007 Posted by lascorpia64 | BABY QUOTES And Page Titles, BABY QUOTES FOR SCRAPBOOKING, Children quotes, PARENTING | , , | 4 Comments